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Pastor Scott L. Harris
Grace Bible Church, NY
January 22, 2023
The Responsibility of Husbands
1 Peter 3:7 & Selected
Last week we examined 1 Peter 3:1-6 and the directions Peter gives to Christian wives in applying their identity in Christ to their God given roles in marriage. Peter points out that a Christian wife is to have a submissive attitude and demonstrate her godly character by being chaste and respectful with a gentle and quiet spirit. He could have just stated those things and left it there as practical manifestations of Christ living in them, but Peter’s emphasis is actually on their purpose as a means of wining over her husband including those that might be disobedient to the word. That could be difficult for any wife since even godly husbands will at times fail to be everything God wants them to be, but it would be especially difficult for the wife married to a pagan husband in the first century Roman world. I would summarize the point of last week’s sermon in this simple statement. Christian wife, you are to be diligent to let Christ living in you be demonstrated by your godly attitude and behavior to influence your family to build up your home instead of tearing it down by walking in worldliness. Or to put it more succinctly, make every effort to win your husband over to godliness by letting Christ shine through you in every area of your life including your marriage.
This morning I will be focusing on the men. I have spoken about the role of the husband and the responsibilities of men many times over the years, usually on Father’s Day. I have also referred many times to 1 Peter 3:7 in those messages, but I have never preached a message based on that text. When in the process of preparing this sermon I finally got to the commentaries, I was not surprised that there was by comparison little written about the husband’s responsibility compared to the material written about the wife since it is only 1 verse compared to 6 verses, but I was still disappointed that the sermon based commentaries tacked it onto the end of the material about the wife. Obviously I am not doing that since I am devoting an entire sermon to it and could probably give a short series on the man’s role in the marriage, family and society as demonstrated by my past sermons. While Peter does not address all the issues of responsibility that men have in this one verse, he certainly opens the door for examining them. That is what we will do this morning, so men, gird up your loins because I will be speaking to you as men, not overgrown boys as is now more common in our society. You ladies can listen in and take notes on how you can encourage your man to be a man. As I pointed out in a sermon some years ago, our society is in great need of what they fearfully call “masculine toxicity,” and I am going to call on you to develop it. If what I say offends you or hurts your feelings, then man up, get over it, and move forward to follow our commander, the Lord Jesus Christ wherever He leads.
Context – 1 Peter 3:1–17
The general context of this passage is knowing your identity in Christ and applying that to your life with the more immediate context having proper submission to human authorities. Peter addresses submission in the home according to God’s design here in chapter 3 and then continues with a summation regarding Christian behavior in view of a Christian’s identity in Christ. Once again I want to read 1 Peter 3:1-17 to set this context. This week I will be reading from the Legacy Standard Bible.
1 In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 as they observe your pure conduct with fear. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on garments; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible quality of a lowly and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children if you do good, not fearing any intimidation. 7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 8 Now to sum up, all of you be like-minded, sympathetic, brotherly, tender-hearted, and humble in spirit; 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but giving a blessing instead, for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. 10 For, “the one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. 11 “he must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. 12 “for the eyes of the lord are toward the righteous, and his ears attend to their prayer, but the face of the lord is against those who do evil.” 13 And who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. and do not fear their fear, and do not be troubled, 15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and fear, 16 having a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who disparage your good conduct in Christ will be put to shame. 17 For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing good rather than for doing wrong.”
The Man’s Position & Submission – 1 Peter 3:7a
1 Peter 3:7 begins, “the husbands likewise / in the same manner” which points back to what Peter has already said about living according to your identity in Christ including submission to human authorities. Paul points out in Ephesians 5:21 that Christians are to be submitting to one another in reverence of Christ with verse 22 then continuing on to point out the specific submission a wife is to have toward her own husband because of his position as head of the wife. To understand what either Peter or Paul is talking about you need to have some general understanding of God’s design for marriage and the family.
God made his design for marriage known from the beginning when He fashioned one of Adam’s ribs into Eve and then gave her to him as his wife (Genesis 2). It was not good for the man to be alone and she was both God’s solution for that and the suitable helper that would enable man to fulfill God’s mandate for them to be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth, subdue and have dominion over it (Genesis 1:27-28). Adam could not accomplish that without Eve. The dominion mandate given by God to man requires men and women to fulfill their roles in marriage and the family as compliments to one another. As I pointed out last week, feminism’s attack on this is destroying society.
Paul points back to this in his discussion of men, women and headship in 1 Corinthians 11 stating in verse 3, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” I quoted this verse last week in making the point that headship is about the role each plays and not equality. God the Father and God the Son are equal, but each has their own role as distinct persons within the triune Godhead. Likewise, in the marriage, men and women are equal before God in value, but He also designed both with different biological, emotional and mental natures in order for each to fulfill their God given roles within marriage and the family. They are different but complimentary.
The man is to be the head according to the specific order and purpose of God making Adam and Eve. Paul states in 1 Corinthians 11:8-9, 8 “For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; 9 for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.” That takes you back again to Genesis 1 & 2. However, man’s headship and authority over his wife does not give any justification for being tyrannical for each is dependent upon the other as Paul continues on to point out in verses 11-12. 11 “However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man [has his birth] through the woman; and all things originate from God.”
Just as in Paul’s analogy of the body in 1 Corinthians 12, there is no reason for the foot to be jealous of the hand or the ear to be jealous of the eye for each unique part is needed for the proper functioning of the whole body, so it is for men and women. God has given a unique design and role to each for the proper functioning of the marriage and family. To desire to be something other than what God has made you is not just an irrational disconnect from reality, it is direct rebellion against God’s sovereign design of you. To apply Paul’s rhetorical question in Romans 9:20 to this, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, “Why did you make me like this,” will it? So whether man or woman, rejoice in who and what God has made you and seek to serve your creator according to His design to the best of your ability for that is the purpose of your existence.
Going back to 1 Peter 3:7, the question arises why did Peter include the word oJmoivwV / homoiōs, likewise / in the same manner, instead of just giving husbands direct commands about how to live with their wives? In other words, to what exactly is it that Peter is referencing that husbands are to be likewise as the wives in living with them? Peter is going to go on to detail specific things the husband is to do, but none of those match what he has already told the wives. So to what is he referring?
The most common idea is that Peter is talking about submission, and though I have already pointed out from Ephesians 5:21 that there is to be a mutual submission among Christians including within the marriage relationship, that is not Peter’s main point in verses 1-6 as I pointed out last week. The main verb in that passage (kerdaivnw / kerdainō) is to win her husband over by her godly attitude and behavior. Her submission in fulfilling her role as a wife is simply part of that godly attitude and behavior that is done because of her trust in God to do what is right before Him even if she suffers for it. She has a greater concern for the good and soul of her husband than she does in having her own desires fulfilled. Only a godly woman who understands who she is in Christ will be able to do that. In the same way, only the godly husband who understands who he is in Christ and has a higher commitment to his wife’s good and soul than his own desires will be able to carry out the directives Peter gives in the rest of the verse. What Peter says here will be helpful to all men because it matches God’s design for marriage, but without submission to Christ and being empowered by the Holy Spirit your ability to do it will be subverted by your own sinful selfishness.
How is a Christian husband to treat his wife? And more to the point in the immediate context of this passage, how is a Christian husband to win his wife to godliness if she is disobedient to the word? How is he to win his wife to Christ if she is unsaved?
Live with Her in an Understanding Way – 1 Peter 3:7b
The first participle in this verse, sunoikevw / sunoikeō, is a compound word joining “with” to “dwell” and hence it literally means “to dwell with.” The Louw-Nida lexicon defines it, “to conduct oneself in relation to a person with whom one lives.” The starting point is that the husband is to dwell / live with his wife. That is an obvious point, but one that has to be made plain because it is contrary to what was common in the First Century Roman world and continues to be a problem in current times even among Christians. I pointed out last week that among Jews, Greeks and Romans at that time, wives were viewed more as objects and property than life’s most precious human relationship. Since marriages were usually arranged, the now dominant romantic idea in Western societies of marrying for “love” was not much of a factor in whom you married. The husband and wife might sleep in the same house and bed, but that did not mean they had much interaction of any significant nature other than the husband telling his wife what he wanted. The wife was there to keep the home and have children. It was common for men in Greek society to even think that women should be seldom seen or heard. Peter is telling them that the marriage relationship must be much, much deeper than that. They were to dwell with, live with, conduct themselves in relationship with her. That absolutely requires spending time together and interacting about much more than family business.
While those ancient ideas are no longer as openly prevalent, they do still exist among men who treat their wives more as bed partners than life partners. Then there is the problem of busyness and priorities. Even among Christian men who would be considered godly there becomes the problem of doing so many things outside the home including “ministry” that the marriage relationship with his wife is neglected by default. That is not to say that there are not times when husband and wife both sacrifice in ministry to others, but it is to say that you must be diligent to plan and make time to actually live together. You absolutely cannot fulfill what Peter states is the manner of this dwelling together – according to knowledge – unless you do.
Why is it so common that a man will spend so much effort, time and money in courting a woman to convince her to marry him, and then when she does, he becomes too busy to spend any significant time to maintain the relationship much less build it? And that is too often true among Christian men too. Again, this does not mean there will not be sacrifices made in order to fulfill other responsibilities and obligations including serving the Lord and ministering to others, but it does mean that the marriage relationship needs to be a priority in your planning and scheduling instead of an after thought. Gentlemen, certainly you will need your wife to help with this, but the responsibility is yours. And for those of you with young children, it is especially important that you make provisions to take your wife out of her mommy role and put her back in her wife role by arranging for a babysitter so you can take her on a date periodically. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it does have to be a devotion of your time to each other without distractions. If your children are old enough to take care of themselves or are grown and out of the house, you still have to remove her from her normal activities that keep her busy or distracted such as entertainments, and put her back in the role of being the wife you love and to whom you are devoted. You cannot even maintain your marriage relationship much less have it grow and deepen unless you actually dwell together, live with each other interacting on a personal level instead of just existing in the same location.
Peter heightens the nature of the dwelling with your wife by describing the manner as “in an understanding way.” The Greek here is actually “according to knowledge” (kata; gvnw:sin). Any understanding you gain has to have a foundation in what you know since all the various words for understanding require knowledge first. You have to have a foundation of knowledge about it before you can comprehended, evaluate, reason about, think over, gain insight into it.
Men, I am completely aware by both study and experience that women are a mystery to us because we are so different in the way we think and experience the world. It is common for a husband to be completely baffled at his wife’s feelings, thinking, actions and responses because they seem completely illogical and at times disconnected from reality. I assure you, they are not to her, and your thinking, behavior and disconnect from your feelings are just as confusing to her. In marriage counseling I have often had to tell a wife that she is wrong to have an expectation that her husband should know why she is upset when she does not tell him the reason. Her thought is simply that he should know because other women can pick up the emotional clues and behavior and understand, so he should too. His thought is that she is irrational. I then tell the wife that her expectation is wrong because in relationship to the manner in which she feels and thinks, he is that stupid and cannot know unless she tells him. Men, let me quickly add here that what Peter states here means that your wife is to be your life study. Peter is telling the husband to live with his wife according to knowledge. As you do this and come to know and understand her this dilemma will diminish. You will learn to both pick up the emotional and behavioral clues to know why she is feeling and acting the way she is and learn how to talk with her about it and help her through it in a godly manner so that she can grow in her godliness.
At this point some of you may be thinking, but you don’t know my wife. She can be a nasty witch. My first response to you is why didn’t you learn to duck when she flew by on her broom, or why didn’t you dodge the physical broom she tried to hit you with? My second response to you is a serious question. Do you know why she turns into a nasty witch and if not, why not? Peter states here that the normal course of life for the husband is to be dwelling with his wife according to knowledge, so that is your responsibility, and you cannot help her toward godliness if you do not learn the underlying reasons for her emotions and reactions. Sure, give her some time to cool down enough so that you can talk in a civil manner, but then you need to engage her and keep doing so until you can understand and help her. And mark verses 8 & 9 that you are to do this in humility of spirit in a sympathetic and kindhearted way. You are not to return evil for evil or insult for insult. That would only aggravate the situation.
You say that would be dangerous and you would get hurt? So what? Of course you are going to get hurt, so stop being a coward. Real men press on to fulfill the responsibilities God has given to us regardless of whatever pain and suffering we may experience. We must trust the Lord that in doing what is right before Him He will glorify Himself in us and accomplish His will. We look to Him to be our comfort. Acts 5:41 records that the apostles rejoiced that they were considered worthy to suffer for shame for the sake of righteousness and Christ’s name when they were flogged for preaching Christ. Jesus told us to expect to suffer for the sake of righteousness, and that suffering may even come at times from your wife. Don’t let suffering whether real or just the fear of it keep you from following God’s stated will. If you do, then you cut both yourself and your wife off from growing in godliness and ending the causes of the suffering resulting in you suffering even more in the future.
Consider Paul’s instructions in Ephesians 5:25–27, 25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” Jesus’ love was so great that He sacrificed His life for the church for the purpose of sanctifying her so that she would be holy and blameless. Jesus’ final sacrifice was on the cross as the redemption price for man’s sins so that we can be forgiven and adopted into God’s family by faith in Him. But His sacrifice also included becoming a man and putting up with sinful humans, both avowed enemies and followers that at times proved to be faithless, as He taught them about God and His ways. Husband, that is your example for how you are to love your wife. You are to sacrifice yourself even to the cost of your life for her good so that she can become sanctified and holy and blameless for God. That will require you to actively lead her in that direction even when she wants to go a different direction. Most husbands disengage or yield to their wives because they want peace in the sense of the absence of conflict more than holiness for themselves or their wives. They are passive wimps. The man who pursues holiness will have more conflict initially, but the result of self discipline and leading his wife in that same way will eventually yield peace in the sense of harmony because both walk unified in righteousness. Even from the most pragmatic standpoint, a wife cannot follow a husband unless he leads.
Let me quickly add here that these principles apply not only to the wife that exhibits her ungodliness in very open ways, the nasty witch type I mentioned earlier. It also applies to the wife that disengages and retreats into herself or some form of escape such as hobbies, entertainment, becoming overly busy or even to worse forms such as drugs, alcohol and affairs. Husband, it is your responsibility to pursue her, find out why she is retreating and help her overcome whatever fears or hurt is there. Yes, that might mean you will be falsely accused, or worse, truthfully confronted about your own failures in being a godly husband to her, but again, so what? Don’t be a proud coward afraid to have your failures exposed. That is the opportunity for you to grow in Christ and become the godly man you are supposed to be. If you are falsely accused, it is the opportunity to correct her wrong impressions and conclusions. Not by arguing with her, but by the consistent demonstration of the truth by your godly attitude and actions. That is the means to change her mind and emotions.
You husbands likewise, win over your wife to godliness by dwelling with her according to knowledge. Make her your life study so that you can lead her to greater holiness.
A Weaker Vessel – 1 Peter 3:7c
In the next phrase of this verse Peter makes a point in the manner in which the husband is to live with is wife according to knowledge. He must recognize that she is as “someone weaker, since she is a woman.” Most often this phrase is taken as a reference to a woman being physically less strong than a man since the term translated here as “someone,” skeu:oV / skeuos, is most often used for a physical container in which you can carry something, a vessel. In this verse, as in 1 Thessalonians 4:4, it refers to the wife of a husband.
It is true that due to biological design the average woman is physically weaker than the average man due to muscle mass and structure. This enables the average man to run faster and have the ability to move heavier objects around, especially upper body strength to lift. However, women often demonstrate a greater physical stamina resulting in the old adage, “a man works from dawn til setting sun, but a woman’s work is never done.” That is probably more psychological than physiological since I personally know plenty of men that don’t stop until they go to bed, and I have had to counsel plenty of couples in which the wife is a lazy couch potato. However, even with the physical differences being true, I don’t think that is all that Peter has in mind.
The term weaker here, ajsqenhvV / asthenās, according to TDNT has a root idea of “weakness” or “impotence” of different kinds, and from the Aramaic this includes “to stumble.” Paul links both concepts in 1 Corinthians 8 in his discussion of a brother who has a conscience that is weak and stumbling into sin when he participates in something that violates that conscience. In addition, in the New Testament this word group is “hardly ever used of purely physical weakness, but frequently in a comprehensive sense of the whole man, e.g., the ‘weaker sex’ in 1 Peter 3:7” (TDNT). To what then is Peter referring?
While it certainly can include physical weakness, I believe it also includes a weakness Paul points out in 1 Timothy 2:12-14 in a discussion about the different roles of men and women in the church and why he did not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man. Paul first points out the order of creation and then says “14 And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.” (See also 2 Corinthians 2:13). The constitutional nature of women make them more susceptible to being led astray by their emotions which can be affected by a whole lot of things including hormonal changes. Ask the average woman what she thinks about something and she will tell you how she feels. Ask the average man what he feels about something and he will tell you what he thinks. Acknowledging that there are certainly exceptions to this both ways, this is a well known general difference between men and women. I believe Peter is making the point to husbands that dwelling with their wives according to knowledge includes taking into account that she is a woman and different from him both physically and in the way she thinks and feels. Don’t expect her to either do the things you do or understand things the same way as you. This is one of the reasons God has made you the head of your wife which includes the responsibilities to provide and protect her. The man who understands this about his wife will be in a far better position to properly interact with her – live with her in an understanding way – and win her to godliness.
Show Her Honor – 1 Peter 3:7d
The next phrase in this verse is contrary to the way husbands treated wives in the ancient world. “Show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.” Show, ajponevmw / aponemō, is “to cause, show, assign to.” Honor, timhv/ timā, is to ascribe worth, respect, status. The husband is to demonstrate such respect to his wife himself, point out her high worth to others, and put her in the position to be recognized for her status and accomplishments. The man who does this will win her favor for these are practical demonstrations of love and protection which gives him much greater ability to lead and guide her to holiness. The man who demeans his wife, disparages her to others, or makes jokes at her expense only pushes her father away for they are demonstrations that he does not love her and will expose her instead of protect her. He is also acting stupidly forgetting that she is one with him and in doing that to her he also dishonoring himself. To rephrase Ephesians 5:26, “he who loves his own wife loves himself,” with this principle, he who honors his wife honors himself.
Showing honor to his wife is something a godly man should do anyway, but Peter points to a specific reason, she is “a fellow heir of the grace of life.” You receive together from God His undeserved blessings that abound in life. Whatever blessings she receives are shared with you, and whatever blessings you receive are shared with her. The blessings, whether tangible or intangible, are actually multiplied because in sharing them together both are blessed and the praise to God for His grace is also doubled. Apart from salvation itself, the greatest blessing you can have on this earth is a God honoring marriage. And since Paul points out in Ephesians 5:32 that there is a mystery in marriage in which it is to reflect Christ and the church, it is known that God’s moral will for your marriage is for it to succeed in all godliness. Therefore you can be confident that any couple that will strive to place Christ at the center of their relationship will be able to develop such a blessed marriage.
Don’t Hinder Your Prayers – 1 Peter 3:7e
Peter ends this verse with a warning that it is necessary for husbands to treat their wives in this manner so as to not hinder their prayers. To hinder, ejgkovptw / egkoptō, is to put an obstacle in the way that will prevent or at least make it difficult to do something. In this case, it is prayer – speaking to God. There are several aspects to this warning.
First, a husband that treats his wife in an ungodly manner will hinder his own prayer life because sin always blocks prayer. Ever since Adam & Eve sinned and hid from God, sin has kept sinners from seeking God until they confess their sins. Only then can they properly approach God again. That is why confession remains important for the Christian (See 1 John 1:9). In addition, as stated in Psalm 66:18, if you regard wickedness in your heart, the Lord will not hear you. God will not be paying attention to a wicked husband’s requests until he will confess.
Second, a husband that treats his wife in an ungodly manner will be a hindrance to her prayers. If she is not a Christian, her Christian husband’s repulsive behavior will make his God repulsive to her. If she is a Christian and is like the godly woman Peter is encouraging in the previous six verses, she may be even more diligent in praying for her husband. If she is not, he may provoke her to sin herself or discourage her from even trying.
Third, a husband that treats his wife in an ungodly manner will find it very difficult to pray with his wife. He may not want to pray with her. She may resist praying with him. Both will find it difficult to pray properly until there is confession and forgiveness.
The opposite of all these will be true for the man that does dwell with his wife according to knowledge, recognizes and compensates for her weaknesses, and grants her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. Those things will encourage prayer by both husband and wife and together as a couple. They are all very helpful in winning a wife to holiness – a non-Christian wife to salvation and a Christian wife to greater godliness. However, it is not enough for Peter to just encourage the husbands. He concludes with this warning to stress the serious consequences of failure to do so. Husbands, God has given you a responsibility for the spiritual condition of your wives. Are you encouraging her or discouraging her?
There is a lot more that I can say about the responsibilities of men in general and the role of the husband in specific, but that is already a lot to chew on today. Look up my many other sermons on these topics for more on God’s commands to you as a man. (See: A Father’s Responsibility – Deut. 6:1-9, God’s Design for Men, A Man’s Too Box for Successful Living, The Man that Worships God – Psalm 15, Titus 2 Men, Being a Man of God, Men Worth Emulating – 1 Tim. 3:8-13, A Godly Heritage, Servant Leadership in the Home, Resolutions for Godly Men, A Father’s Instructions – Proverbs, The Role of a Husband – Col. 3:19, Becoming a Godly Father, Will the Real Men Please Stand Up!, A Father’s Involvement, Looking for a Few Good Men, The Blessed Man – Psalm 1)
I want to end with a simple admonition and encouragement. Our society is toxic toward masculinity in general, and against the godly character traits God wants men to develop in particular. There is a cost in setting your will to live your life in godliness in contrast to walking in the ways of the world, and that cost could be very high. However, the spiritual cost to your soul and those God has commanded you to influence, your wife and children in particular, will be even higher if you yield to an anti-Christian society. At the same time, you cannot gain greater blessings for your soul and that of your wife and family than in striving with all that is in you to walk with God in holiness and influencing them to do the same. Read – memorize – Psalm 15 and work at developing the godly character traits described there in your own life.
You husband likewise, win your wife to greater godliness by dwelling with her according to knowledge, recognizing and taking into consideration her weakness as a woman, honor her privately and in public as a fellow heir of the grace of life, and be diligent to do these things so that neither your prayers or her prayers will be hindered.
Sermon Notes – January 22, 2023
The Responsibility of Husbands – 1 Peter 3:7
Peter’s emphasis in his instructions to wives was on how they could _____their husbands – even the ungodly ones
The focus this morning is on the role of the _________ and the responsibilities of men
Context – 1 Peter 3:1–17
The general context is knowing your ___________in Christ & applying that to your life including in submission
The Man’s Position & Submission – 1 Peter 3:7a
“The husbands likewise” points _______to living according to your identity in Christ & submission to authorities
Ephesians 5:21-22 – Christians are to be _______submissive with the wife specifically submissive to her husband
God design for marriage begins in Genesis 1 & 2. Eve was made from Adam so they could fulfill God’s ________
1 Cor. 11:3, 8-12 – the husband’s headship is about his God given ____in marriage, not a superior over an inferior
1 Cor. 12; Rom. 9:20 – _________makes you who and what you are to serve Him. There is no room for jealousy
To what does oJmoivwV / homoiōs, likewise, refer?
Submission is the common answer, but the main verb / point is for the wife to ________her husband
Only a __________husband will have a higher commitment to his wife’s good and soul than his own desires
Live with Her According in an Understanding Way – 1 Peter 3:7b
Dwell with, sunoikevw / sunoikeō, is a _____________from common practice in the first century Roman world
__________marriages did not require a romantic or personal attraction. Wives were for keeping house & children
Those ancient ideas are no longer openly prevalent, but the practice _________ if only by default due to busyness
Sacrifices have to be made at times, but you cannot live according to knowledge without _____________together
Why spend lots of effort, time & money to convince a woman to marry you, and then ________her after marriage
The marriage relationship needs to be a ____________in planning and scheduling, not an afterthought
The text is literally “according to knowledge” – understanding must be based on acquired ______________
Because men and women are so _________from each other, women are a mystery to men, and men baffle women
Dwelling with your wife according to knowledge will increase _______________& therefore the ability to help
Even if your wife is uncivil, it is your responsibility to press on in godliness to ___________and help her
You will get hurt, but press on despite the danger for that is the ________love makes fulfilling its responsibilities
Ephesians 5:25-27 – Jesus’ sacrifice of Himself to redeem sinners is our _______of sacrifice to sanctify our wives
You are to actively lead your wife to _________even if she is resistant – present conflict will yield to future peace
These principles apply to ________the openly defiant and the wife that disengages and retreats into herself
Don’t be a proud coward afraid of accusations true or false – those are opportunities to increase in ____________
A Weaker Vessel – 1 Peter 3:7c
According to ______________design, the average woman is weaker than the average man in many ways
The term “weaker” can be related to stumbling (see 1 Cor. 8) and in this passage refers to the _________person
1 Tim. 2:12-14; 2 Cor. 2:13 – the constitutional nature of women makes them more __________to being deceived
Her ____________, arising from many factors, can lead her thinking astray
Don’t expect your wife to either do things or understand things the ________________you do
Show Her Honor – 1 Peter 3:7d
Honor = ascribe worth, respect and status to your wife. Demonstrate this in _____________ways to her
The man who demeans, disparages & jokes about his wife proves his ______of love & stupidly dishonors himself
The godly man will _______his wife anyway, but Peter gives a specific reason as a fellow heir of the grace of life
Apart from salvation itself, the greatest blessing you can have on this earth is a God honoring ______________
Don’t Hinder Your Prayers – 1 Peter 3:7e
To hinder is to put an __________in the way that will prevent or make it difficult to do something
A husband that sins against his wife blocks his ________prayers – Psalm 66:18
A husband that sins against his wife hinders ________prayers by provoking her to sin
A husband that treats his wife in an ungodly manner hinders them being able to pray ___________
A husband that is __________toward his wife can point her to God for salvation or continued growth in godliness
Expect there to be a ___________for striving to live in godliness instead of following the ways of the world
You cannot gain a greater blessing than walking with ______in holiness & influencing your family to do the same
Win your wife to godliness by treating her in the ___________manner Peter describes
Parents, you are responsible to apply God’s Word to your children’s lives. Here is some help.
Young Children – draw a picture about something you hear during the sermon. Explain your picture(s) to your parents at lunch. Older Children – Do one or more of the following: 1) Write down all the verses mentioned in the sermon and look them up later. 2) Count how many times the word “husband” is used. 2) Discuss with your parents what God requires of husbands and the qualities that make a man a good and godly husband.
THINK ABOUT IT!
Questions to consider in discussing the sermon with others. What is the main point Peter makes in 1 Peter 3:1-6? What is the context of 1 Peter 3:7 both general and immediate? What is God’s design and purpose for marriage according to Genesis 1 & 2? What does it mean that the husband is the head of the wife (1 Cor. 3)? Why is it both an irrational disconnect from reality and rebellion against God to want to be something other than what God has made you? To what does the “likewise” / “in the same manner” refer? Explain. How was a Christian wife to win her ungodly husband? What does it mean to “dwell with” and why is that a radical departure of normal social customs of that time? Husband, how well are you doing at “dwelling with” your wife? What can you do to improve it? Why are men and women such a mystery to each other? How is this dilemma overcome? What should you do if your wife is nasty toward you? How can living with her according to knowledge enable you to help her become nice instead of nasty? What should you do if you get hurt by your wife? Are justifiably accused? Are falsely accused? To what extend does God call you to love your wife? What is God’s purpose for you to love your wife in that manner? Why is yielding to have peace for the present time a strategy for long term failure? What must you do to have a home with the peaceful fruit of righteousness? What you do you need to do if your wife disengages and retreats into herself? In what ways is a woman a “weaker vessel”? Explain. How can living with her “according to knowledge” help overcome that weakness? How can you practically show honor to your wife? How would that help you win her to greater godliness? Why is dishonoring your wife a stupid thing to do? What damage does it do to her? How does treating your wife in an ungodly manner hinder your own prayers? Her prayers? Your prayers together? Read – memorize Psalm 15. Make a plan to develop or improve these godly characteristics in your own life.
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